What do you see when you meet a new person? You see that person’s body language and facial expression. Often the two do not match because there is a disconnect between the body and the mental process (such as when one is on drugs) or that person is attempting to deceive. They may even be unconscious of their deception because it has become a habit. A person who is lying to you but is very convincing is usually not a friend to anyone. They cover their deceit with long explanations and much smiling.
You may see someone whose body language is very heavy and strong despite that individual feeling very unsteady and weak because you are judging that person by your own energy pattern. Or you may judge a person to be weak when you are weak. Do you understand that you are seeing yourself when you look at the other person? Conversely, others judge you by what they see of themselves. That can account for otherwise inexplicable behavior on their part as they react to a mirror image of themselves rather than to the reality of the person you are.
To determine what is going on when you are interacting with others requires awareness. By not thinking about yourself and your surroundings, you can increase your awareness. If you feel something is not right but don’t know what it is, listen to your inner voice and be cautious. Listen carefully to the other person and they will inadvertently tell you more than they intend.
Unfortunately, allowing your awareness to heighten means you will often find your “knowing” unacceptable. It will seem easier to ignore red flags and take others at face value than to accept what they really are. However, deepened involvement with such individuals will bring about circumstances far more uncomfortable than paying attention to initial clues about them in the early stages of a relationship.
But what about trust? What about giving benefit of the doubt? What about practicing unconditional love? Your ability to truly love stems from extending unconditional love first and foremost to yourself. Doing so will enable you to trust your awareness so that you will know when to give benefit of the doubt and when not to. It will also enable you to extend kindness without becoming a victim. Most often those we see as victims (others and ourselves) of users are in fact victims of their own misplaced trust and rejection of being true to themselves. Love that is unloving towards oneself is really a form of self-deception in an attempt to be a “better person” than one feels one is. Seeing that is hard on the ego in the short term but brings increasingly positive results in the long term.