Strategies for Change: Issue of Jealousy

Many people struggle with jealousy and it, like other negative emotions, can slow down or completely undo their movement for positive change. It is not for nothing that jealously is called “the green-eyed monster”; when in its grip, one feels as though he is controlled by a force stronger than himself. But that strength is an illusion; jealousy only has the power unconsciously given to it by the individual struggling with it.

To overcome jealousy requires understanding its roots and making the effort to counteract it. If you struggle with jealousy, then you are basically struggling with a sense of insecurity due to lack of trust in yourself. That insecurity – the idea of not being good enough – could be curbed and even removed if you would learn to like yourself and act accordingly. That means you wouldn’t worry about what someone else is doing; instead you’d be taking care of your world.

As in, guarding your thoughts and seeing yourself as the wonderful person you are. You see, negative ideas of yourself are just someone’s opinion that you accepted and made your own. Whatever reason you had at the time (it could have been to survive a prolonged hostile situation, for instance) that purpose has been served and is no longer useful. It was learned and you can relearn.

In recalling the words, “I like me so you can,” you would come to trust yourself. In trusting yourself, you would begin to trust others. When red flags would come up that tell you that something is not correct, you would be aware of the circumstances almost immediately. So, guard your thoughts and hold only positive ones. Even when a positive situation ends, because usually something better is appearing.

Some people are jealous because they are stuck where they were as little children, jealous of each other. This happens when parents have played favorites, for example. And, there have been no older grandparent or friend of the family to explain to these children that they were perfect. That when they would grow up they would find people who could appreciate them and who would trust them and would be trustworthy themselves. That if someone would betray them, that person was not a friend and was likely mistreated and became a jealous adult as a result. Remembering the old adage that more flies are caught with honey than with vinegar means a smile can save a life.

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