So far, I have been talking about changing your thoughts to change your life. Much has been or is being said and written about this topic. And often people try to follow instructions about it only to feel frustrated and disappointed about the results or apparent lack of desired results. Yet others manage to turn their lives completely around in an astoundingly short time. What is the difference?
There are several things to keep in mind about this and we’ll be discussing them in this and future blogs. First off, if we want changes in our lives, we need to be clear that we want changes in our lives. That would seem to be obvious. But it is not. Scratch the surface and ask yourself: if this change occurs, how will it affect me and those around me? When people are truthful with themselves, they can realize that they either don’t want or are fearful of the implications of a specific change.
If that is the case, you may decide to adjust your goals about changing your life. Or, you may decide to change your attitude about your fears or hesitations regarding what will happen along with a specific change in your life. For instance, you may want to become a smaller size. But if you do so, you might lose a relationship in which an important other in your life depends upon you staying overweight. A mother or spouse, perhaps, who mistakenly equates feeding you rich foods in great quantity with love. Recognizing that, you can decide what to do: to become even bigger over time, to alter your definition of love with that person (eg. taking walks together) or, if necessary, to risk losing that relationship in favor of your health and well-being.
Not taking this first step can mean that despite all apparent efforts, the desired change does not happen or there is a yo-yo effect. One step forward and two steps backward, over and over. So, to start, it is important to be clear that you actually want the change you think you want.
NOTE; Ada Marie has helped hundreds of people change their lives, giving them strength and encouragement throughout the process. For information on opportunities for one-on-one consultations with her, see Retreats and membership in her Counseling Circle. Easy to talk to, she is also available for individual sessions in person or by phone and welcomes your calls when you are ready for changes and overcoming difficulties on the way.